Houston Matchmakers Give Warning Signs He's Emotionally Unavailable

By Houston Singles Dating Service
Home / Dating Advice / Houston Matchmakers Give Warning Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable

There is something intriguing and alluring about a man who plays a little aloof and hard to get.  Who isn’t intrigued and curious about a man who is a little standoffish and mysterious?  But when you are looking for the real deal in love, that desirable trait that drew you in at the beginning might actually be a red flag.

As the leading Houston matchmakers, we’re here to help you avoid future heartache.  Once you’ve been seeing each other for a while, it’s time to assess where things are going with him.  You don’t want to ignore your man’s mystery and mistake it for something desirable.  After all, he could be afraid of intimacy and commitment.  If the man you’re dating feels like a stranger, despite doing everything you can to get close to him, that’s a major warning sign you can’t ignore.

A romantic relationship requires both partners to become vulnerable and open up to one another.  Being vulnerable means letting them into your life.  If you can’t get him to do that with you, then it’s no mystery, he’s afraid of commitment.

The truth is, just because a man wants to go out on a date with you doesn’t mean he’s ready to settle down and get emotionally connected with you.  He might be a great dater or someone you enjoy spending time with, but some men are just commitment-phobes.  If you suspect the man you’re dating is one of the many, look for the following signs from our Houston matchmakers and dating experts.

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1. He communicates better online.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with online communication once in a while, but if you can’t even recognize your man in person, and you would rather talk to him online or through text, this could be a warning sign that he doesn’t know how to connect with you in person.

Face-to-face communication is essential in a new relationship because it creates intimacy between you and your partner, and spending time together is vital for your new relationship.  Think about your past relationships and how you couldn’t peel yourself away from one another in the beginning stages of dating.  Now, look at your new relationship and figure out what’s going on that’s preventing you from connecting with him?  It might not be anything you’re doing wrong but rather just that he’s afraid of commitment.

To get your new boyfriend to open up, try getting him out of the online world and encourage a face-to-face meeting.  If you can’t get him to open up in person, then it’s clear he is afraid of being vulnerable and connecting with you.  In other words, he’s emotionally unavailable.

2. He just got out of a relationship.

It might seem a little weird to suspect this of someone with a broken heart, but the biggest problem with emotionally unavailable men stems from the pain of a broken heart.  Why?  Because they haven’t given it enough time to heal.  If he just got out of a relationship and is already after you, it is clear that he hasn’t worked through it and handled his emotions yet.

When a breakup goes down, everyone needs time to grieve, forgive, and deal with the pain.  It could be anything from a few weeks to a couple months, but he certainly needs time to heal.  Sometimes people come back into the dating world before they have healed and end up causing a lot of problems for people like you who are ready to settle down.

Don’t be afraid to ask him if he is healed from his breakup.  You don’t want to be his rebound girl.  If it was only a week or so since he broke up with his ex, our Houston matchmakers warn you to be cautious, because is on the rebound.  He is emotionally unavailable to be in a relationship so soon.

3. He talks about himself a little too much.

As a woman, you want a man who can talk for hours on end.  Who doesn’t love a talker?  A guy who talks a lot can keep you entertained with his funny stories and prevent you from experiencing those awkward silences, which is great.  But as the leading Houston matchmakers, we want you to be wary of a man who talks endless about himself and still makes you feel like you know nothing about him.

If you can’t get a word in edgewise, it could be because he is trying to temper the relationship expectations so things don’t get too deep.  A man who is willing to emotionally invest in you will want you to get to know him.  If he’s serious about you, he will bring you into his life and want you to get to know him on a deeper level.

If your man is a talker and you’re trying to figure out whether or not he’s serious about dating, ask him about his family, friends, personal hobbies, interests, and goals in life and watch his response.  If he can’t talk about any of these things, he’s emotionally unavailable for dating.

4. He doesn’t have direction.

At first glance, this might not seem like a big deal, but it is.  If a man doesn’t have goals and interests, or he lacks direction, then he might struggle in a relationship.  When he lacks direction in life, his relationship will also lack direction.

While no one has their cards laid out in front of them, he should at least have passions and goals he works hard to achieve.  He should have a comfortable career and a basic idea of what his future will bring.

If you are just starting to date a man and realize he’s displaying the red flags our Houston matchmakers mentioned above, then you know he’s emotionally unavailable.  If you’re looking for a serious relationship, don’t settle for someone who isn’t willing to invest in you too.

If you’re single and searching, let our Houston matchmakers take over the hard part of dating for you.  Fill out the private survey at the top of the page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation to start meeting relationship-ready men today!


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